How to Share a Bed With Your Partner

This content was created by the National Sleep Foundation


Use these helpful solutions so you don't toss and turn all night.

For those of you who may think that sharing a bed with someone isn’t as glamorous as it seems, think again. Sure, there’s the tossing and turning, never-ending blanket wars, temperature struggles, and, of course, who can forget the snoring? But rather than thinking of your bed as a war zone, think about the fact that sleeping with your partner can actually benefit your health and increase the odds of your having a longer lifespan. This is because people tend to feel more secure and safe when in a relationship, decreasing the levels of stress hormones and increasing oxytocin, the love hormone—leading to less interrupted sleep.

So, if you’re having trouble getting the shut-eye that you need but still want your partner by your side during the night, try one of these five helpful solutions that could end up sustaining your sleep and your relationship:

  1. If Your Bed Isn’t Big Enough

When trying to sleep with your partner, you’re definitely not going to have the same amount of space as you would when you’re alone. Luckily,there are a number of different sized beds to choose from—full, queen, or king. Depending on the size of both the people and how much space each person prefers, the dimensions of what bed you choose are important. The bottom line: The bigger the bed you can fit into your room, the better the sleep you'll have.

  1. If Your Mattress Just Isn’t Working Out

Firm or soft? If you and your partner prefer the same type of mattress, then you’ve lucked out. But perhaps you’ve gone mattress shopping together and can’t agree on the same style. Don't worry. To get the best sleep possible, try investing in two different twin beds to push together- two extra-long twins is equivalent to a king-sized bed. This can be the perfect solution for your sleep issues because both you and your partner can choose your ideal type while still sleeping next to each other.

  1. If There Isn’t Enough Blanket

Don’t you hate when you suddenly wake up during the night to find that your partner has stolen all of the sheets? And maybe you prefer a big comforter, while your partner prefers a thin sheet. Creating the perfect sleep environment can be tough when you have to share. To help, try sleeping with two separate blankets, so neither of you will end up cold nor uncovered at night.

  1. If the Lighting Is Off

Maybe you’re engrossed in a novel in bed with a lamp on or you're watching the nightly news in bed, but your partner is ready for sleep—all of that lighting is stimulating and may make it hard for your partner to get some zzz's. So, if you’re reading, try investing in a book light so as not to disturb your partner. And if you need to watch TV, going to another room to do so can also help. It’s all about compromise. 

  1. If It’s Too Hot or Cold

It can be tough to agree on the perfect room temperature. If your partner likes the room on the cold side, you could use a separate comforter to keep warm. Or vice versa. Alternatively, if you like the room at 66 degrees and your partner likes it at 62, perhaps you can compromise on 64. Whatever you choose, it's best to stick within the range of 60 to 67 degrees.

  1. If There’s Constant Movement

Tossing and turning can make or break a good night's sleep for some. Maybe your partner can’t help it and has to try to get comfortable, but if it means that both of you will struggle to get to sleep, action must be taken. That’s where a mattress that doesn’t transfer motion—such as a memory foam mattress—comes in. This purchase will benefit you both.